Whatever happens, happens. It may have started out with me wanting you to see all my posts but it was mostly me expressing my feelings in a healthy way. I haven’t pretended I’m okay and I haven’t lied about the problem to anyone, I’ve been nothing but honest to myself. This was just a way for me to keep track of my progress and remind myself of all the raw emotions I have at this very moment. If I back track a few years it’ll remind me of how great love is and how much it affects you, but it’ll also remind me how I can get through anything in life.
The drop feeling in my stomach hasn’t left and I just wanna throw it up.
I’m gonna have to stop putting hot sauce on my food now
I hope that road stops reminding me of what happened because the drive home is always the worst
I was always scared I would be the one who would hurt you, I was always scared you loved me more.
You gave me so much false hope because you would tell me all the things we had to look forward to, the dates coming up, our two years and even the rest of our lives together. Up to the very day you left
Sleeping is another battle on its own because I’m lost between what’s real and what’s not. Then I wake up to these horrible feelings because it’s real it’s so fucking real.
I keep wondering what if I didn’t fall so hard, what if I held back more and kept my walls up but then I realized that I can’t blame myself for what happened because I gave it my everything
The worst part was I never saw it coming like I was living in a world of my own ,when someone I’m suppose to know like the back of my hand is battling something of their own. It hit me like a hurricane and it was like my world came crashing down, it was like everything I knew was a lie. I was so lost in you I couldn’t find my way out in time, do you realize how unfair that was.
I constantly make sure that I can still feel pain, because I don’t want to become numb. But maybe I don’t feel it as much because there’s already pain all over body
But we lost ourselves in each other didn’t we